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Addressing your own thank you note card at a shower

Have you ever been asked to address an envelope when arriving at a bridal or baby shower? How did you feel about this? Sometimes the addressed envelopes will be used in a game later. One or two envelopes will be pulled from the basket as “winners”. Then you will be given a random prize that you may or may not want!

Reactions to being asked to address an envelope can vary. Some people think this a great idea and other people hate it. Sure it will save the bride or the soon to be parent some time later but is it worth it?

Please read the comments below, as many have shared their thoughts on this. Asking for an address may be ideal/easier when paper invitations were not mailed or you don’t personally know guests from the other side of the family.

Envelopes in basket waiting to be addressed

Some will be very happy to know they are getting a thank you note and will happy to put their name on an envelope. You better follow through if you decide to go this route! People’s expectation of receiving a note a will be even higher than usual since they’ve already addressed the envelope for you.

While some may like it, there are enough people that are put off by it that I recommend not asking people to address an envelope.

Behind the “nice idea” and smiles some people are very annoyed by this. Here are a couple of comments I’ve received about this activity:

“I hate, hate, hate when I’m asked to address my own thank you card. It feels cheap and lazy and I always want to say “you figured out how to send me an invitation so you could get a present from me. Don’t you still have my address?”
“While I do appreciate receiving thank you notes, I don’t feel as warm when I get a thank you note addressed to me in my own handwriting. I’ve been to baby showers and wedding showers where it is requested that you write your address on an envelope. While this is an efficient solution to my biggest problem with writing thank you notes (assembling addresses), it still feels somewhat cheesy to get an envelope addresses in your own hand. “

I agree that It can be a bit weird to get mail addressed in your own handwriting. When it arrives it may seem like you mailed it to yourself. There is a disconnect when the handwriting on the outside doesn’t match the handwriting on the inside.

Some people will think you are lazy.

Perhaps you admit to being lazy and are okay with that. Maybe you didn’t know people were thinking this and not telling you. The guests do not want to be rude and will likely play along even if they hate it. Remember that the guests spent their time and money to give you gift and attend your shower. In return, you should write a thank you note and take the time to address it yourself.

But what about the addresses?

How long does it take you to address and put a stamp on an envelope? Not long. Maybe 10 to 20 seconds if someone has a longer address. You should have the addresses already from sending out invitations to the shower. Be organized and have your return address labels and stamps nearby as well. If you are stuck on an address you may have to ask the person. Also, you can check out these 8 tips on finding addresses.

If people were invited to the shower online, such as with Facebook, you can ask them to send you a message with their address. Or sign up for the free online address book at Postable.com. Then provide people with a link to your address book and then can enter their own address.

I’m not organizing my own shower – I didn’t know that was going to happen:

If you really don’t want people to address an envelope, tell the organizers upfront. Say “I don’t want to ask people to address an envelope”. If they try to talk you into it, resist! Maybe they did this at their shower and feel judged because you don’t want to have your guests do it. Nicely share that you’d rather do it yourself.

What you should do instead:

One idea is to address the thank you note envelope the same time the invitations are addressed for people that are very likely to be giving you a shower gift. The drawback is having to keep track of the already addressed envelopes for a few weeks. And you may address an envelope to someone that does not come to the shower.

The best idea is to keep track of who gave each gift as they are opened. Have a friend write down the person’s name and what the gift was. Then you will have a list when it comes time to write the thank you notes. You should then have their address from the address list used for sending out the invitations. If someone else sent out the invitations for you, be sure to ask them for the address list.

My recommendation is to not ask people to address their own envelopes. But, that is my preference. If having people address their own envelopes is the difference between sending them a thank-you note and not sending the thank-you note, go ahead and have them address their own envelope.

How do you feel about being asked to address a thank you note card envelope at a shower? Are you for it or against it?

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